Focused, or Lack of

I consider myself very focused thanks to my almost-daily yoga and meditation practice.  For instance, I often have moments of pristine clarity after I finish (or during) a yoga class or my daily meditation sitting.  Thanks to an interest in Feng Shui that started in the late 90’s, I am able to unemotionally purge (clothing, household objects, etc.) on a regular basis.  Most recently, I have committed not to buy any new clothing items (minus what my husband orders me online) until May.

There’s one thing though that I’m not very disciplined at doing…not buying books!  I now have at least six new books I’ve bought since Jan 1st.  I’m reading parts of all of them, but will I finish even one of them?  I admit it’s a rare occasion when I read and fully enjoy a book from start to finish.  Given this book buying addiction has been going on for a few years, I often wonder “what does it mean about me?”

A friend of mine likes to say “well you are a Gemini”.  Horoscopes often speak of the multi-interests Gemini’s possess.  Isn’t that an excuse though?  Our birth sign is really just a general overview of some innate characteristics.  As an avid reader of Buddhist & yoga books I have learned everything has an element of impermanence.  Meaning, nothing last forever; nothing stays the same; everything changes.  This means we can, and ultimately will, change even if our astrological sign describes us as being one way.  Again, nothing last forever.  Even if the habit or way is deeply ingrained, we can change.

So as I write this…do I need to change?  Is it bad that I have a lack of focus and discipline in my book reading?  I sometimes feel like I’m the only one with 10 unread books stacked on my bedside table.

By the way, don’t look at the 2010 reading list page on this blog.  It’s no longer accurate.  Only one of those books is part of the six I’ve bought in the last 1.5 months 🙂  As the Buddha said, nothing stays the same.

4 responses to this post.

  1. I used to own a huge book collection, but I met this woman who said a phrase that changed my whole perspective on books: “There will always be libraries.” Ok, so I know that libraries might go extinct, and in some locations there are better libraries than others, but MOST books I am interested in reading are available at my public library. Perhaps you can let go of some of your books if you look at it from that perspective? If not, until you have to move, it’s not a big deal. Moving with lots of books sucks bigtime, though. 😉


  2. my boyfriend is currently selling my book collection for me on it was hard at points, but im getting used to it, as it feels really gradual. and then it seems like free money!


  3. I totally agree with you, after a yoga session the relaxation you get is amazing. It makes you forget all your stress. Yoga really helps reduce stress, improve concentration and also alleviate mood swings. It brings awareness and the ability to be ‘still’. I just love to do yoga.


  4. Posted by Vee on March 2, 2010 at 10:58 pm

    Kathy you talk about mood swings………….I thought that was called menopause……I didn’t understand it until years later, never even realized that’s what I was going through (back in the late 80’s , early 90’s, when i was 40 something …………glad to hear that Yoga is helping you, Kathy 🙂 I wish I had understood what I was going through then, would have saved a lot of heartache ……… somehow I got through it….that said, to this day, I still can’t find the ability to be “still”……………..Melody will teach me 🙂 I have confidence in her ability…….I’m probably her most challenging case…………if anybody can teach me how to stay in one place for a given amount of time——it will be Melody !!!! I’m so impressed with her knowledge of Yoga.
    ….and her patience with students like me …………VCA


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