My Struggle: Yoga at Home

Before I started teaching yoga, I was able to get on my mat a couple times a week in my little Arlington colonial-style home.  I had done this for years without a problem.  Now that I’m teaching full-time, there seems to be a lot of obstacles between me and my home yoga practice.

Mentally, it’s far easier for me to drive to a yoga studio and take a class vs. getting on my mat at home.  It really makes no sense.  Do the math.  It takes me a good 30 minutes to drive, find parking in DC and get into the studio in time to take a 90 minute yoga class.  Then I leave there (and never right away as I always see a few people I know) and have another 15-20 minutes until I’m back home.  This one yoga class takes about 2.5 hours in total.

If I’m so time crunched (which I often claim to be), it seems obvious that unrolling my mat, turning my space heater on and practicing in my little home yoga space for an hour or makes a lot more sense.  Somehow, the excuses take over when I attempt to go the home practice route.  There’s always work that can be done (given I run my own yoga business there will always be “work”).  House chores never go away:  laundry, walk the dog, bills, clean the kitchen, etc.

Even once I’m able to bypass the list of excuses and get onto my mat, I have chatter in my head as to “why did it take me so long to get here?”  Then, on top of that, it’s just as challenging for me to STAY on the mat.  The phone rings and I think “I should go check the caller ID to see who it is, right?”   Here’s a good one…“Ewww!  Look at that dustball, I better clean it up NOW.”  Like it won’t be there when I’m done?  Then there’s the random sounds that inevitably take me away.  ”Oh, the dishwasher/dryer/BlackBerry/etc just beeped.  I guess I should unload it/check it.”

I realized yesterday during my home practice (yes, I stayed on my mat for just over an hour) what really needs to be done was BEING DONE.  Being on my mat, in my house, following my cues is my yoga practice.  A yoga practice is different for everyone.  It was empowering to ignore the excuses.  And you know, they were still there once I finished.  

It’s said that the hardest things for us to do are what we need to do the most.  Being on the yoga mat in my house, moving to my breath, hanging out with myself, is what I need.  This is my new yoga practice.    

Why don’t Yoga Studios have Mirrors?

I was asked this question Thanksgiving morning as I waited for the holiday yoga class to start at Flow.  Given I’ve been asked this question several times, I decided it’s definitely blog worthy.  Here goes. 

Reason #1:  Mirrors hinder the “feeling” process.  Asana, which is what primarily most yoga studios teach, is very much is a feeling practice.  Yogasana offers awareness to physical sensations, breath flow and mental and emotional states.  Mirrors lessen this level of awareness and introduce thinking, analyzing and judgments.  Simply, mirrors distract from the fullness and bliss yogasana can offer — integration of moving with intention and breath.   

Reason #2:  Mirrors block the journey to self-acceptance.  Yoga offers a way to connect with who we are.  We’re not looking to change ourselves in yoga.  We’re looking to find ourSelves, our true nature.  Yoga is a journey to express who we are; the journey requires that we’re 100% in the “feeling” and discovery process.  Mirrors again invite judgment and scrutiny, hence blocking the path to accepting ones Self.

Reason #3:  Mirrors can lead to injury.  The “feeling” process keeps us protected in asana practice.  Feeling encourages ease.  Feeling a pose enables you to know when to move with ease beyond your normal range (your edge) and when to back off.  With mirrors, the tendency is to force the body into what one “thinks” the pose should look like based on seeing it in a book or someone else doing it. 

These are my reasons based on personal observation.  I’d love to hear from others on this topic.

Inspiration to Give

My dear friend Kristy in PA recently emailed the following to a group of her close yogi friends, including me.  I had read the same article that she is referencing in the current issue of Yoga Journal but I am so impressed to see that she took the initiative to share it and remind some of us who might have glossed over it.  Thanks Kristy!

Here’s her inspirational email:  I was reading my Yoga Journal magazine the other day and there was an article I’d like to share with you all.  Just some food for thought.  
 
“After receiving a holiday gift of a cookbook on chicken from a well-meaning relative two years ago (I don’t eat poultry), I decided to rethink holiday giving.  The next year I requested that friends and relatives donate money to a worthy cause instead of buying, me, say, yet another pair of salad tongs.  The plan worked beautifully: 
 
I cut down of planetary waste, helped those who really needed it, and eliminated loads of unwanted presents.  To start a new holiday tradition, write a heartfelt letter to friends and family explaining your reasons- financial, spiritual, or otherwise- for asking that everyone donated money in lieu of getting you a present.”  N.I.  (Yoga Journal, December 2007)
 
If this doesn’t sound like something you’re interested, that’s ok.  If you are, here are some websites to check out:

www.justgive.org    www.kiva.org      www.mygiftlist.com 

Happy Holidays!

Meditation = Not Thinking

I’m not a fan of wearing yoga-inspired jewelry.  To me it’s frivolous.  It’s not a necessity.  It’s certainly not needed to practice yoga.  Of course, I have plenty of other areas in my life in which I splurge so I try to bring a little balance into my life by not splurging on unnecessary yoga items.

I’m also not a fan of wearing mala beads.  They aren’t necessary to meditate but I personally find them helpful to keep me focused during my meditation practice.  So yes, I own one strand for this purpose.

With that said, I’m not clear as to why I wore my jade mala beads around my wrist to a business networking breakfast on Tuesday morning.  Little did I know, conversation would surface around them.

First, it was a simple “those are nice” person #1 commented as she touched them.  Then it was “what are they?” from person #2.  I explained that they are mala beads that I sometimes use during my newly developed meditation practice.  It was interesting to hear their responses.  Person #2:   ”Some of my best thinking has come during my running”.  Person #1:  “My prior company’s logo was created out of a long run I was on”.

After just spending 3 hours last Saturday in a meditation vinyasa practice, my mind was in shock.  These people didn’t get it.  How unfortunate I thought.  Then I realized “not thinking and simply being” is a foreign concept to the many business professionals; yet I believe they are ideal for the practice.

I had to interject.  I had to help them understand, they’re missing out on a little secret.  Meditation is not about thinking.  In fact, it’s the complete opposite.  It’s simply about being.  I had to explain how I use meditation to create clarity in my day (and my life) by clearing out some of the unnecessary chatter in my head.  It’s a wonderful tool to build confidence in trusting my intuition which many people often neglect.  Person #2:  “Yes, I catch myself doubting my instincts sometimes”.  Ahhhhh, I thought maybe I’m getting somewhere.  Then the bell went off.  It was time to take our seats.  I guess I’ll being wearing them to my next networking breakfast. 

One More Breakthrough

I’ve been meditating off and on for the last couple of years —definitely, more off than on.  Making the time for it has always been my excuse.

As I experienced during my week spent in Maya Tulum, I need a daily meditation practice (breakthrough #3).  In order to actively listen to myself and others, I need to slow my mind down.  I need to un-clutter (am I making up a word?) my mind.  I need to create space in my head in order to manage and react appropriately to the opportunities my journey in life holds.

Meditation is an invaluable tool to help “cease the fluctuations of the mind” (Pantanjali’s second Yoga Sutra).  Fluctuations can take many forms — memories, worries about the future, constant chatter/dialogue we have with ourselves and false impressions.  Even when we sleep, our mind wanders.  The list of fluctuations is really endless but the Yoga Sutras identifies 5 kinds fluctuations (vrittis).  If you haven’t read this thought-provoking book on yoga philosophy, please do.  It’s an indispensable guide to many themes you’ll hear and experience throughout your yoga exploration.

Back to meditation.  In order to reap the benefits meditation has to offer, you have to do it.  I have to do it.  I have to practice it regularly.  Before Maya Tulum, meditation was easier to talk about than to do.  Now I crave it.

Even when it’s only 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes in the evening, I feel how those few minutes add up to a lot of trust within.  Those few minutes offer a lot of clarity to my thoughts and actions throughout my day.  My listening skills are sharper.  Best of all, when I come out of my meditation practice I am able to see what’s really important on my “to do” list in life.

And just in the last few weeks, it’s powerful to observe how I can more easily drop into a meditation practice than say, 6 months ago.  Of course, my mind still wanders as I sit with my eyes shut and focus on my simple mantra.  The cool thing is I catch my mind drifting sooner rather than later.  Even cooler is how I am finding it easier to bring my wandering mind back to the present.

My final thoughts on meditation.  Who doesn’t just want to sit and be?  It’s such a wonderful privilege to sit in a healthy posture, breath and be alive.  Meditation is freeing and until you honestly do it, you have no idea how much freedom it can bring.  It can be the best 5 minutes you spend out of your busy day.  You may even start to crave it as much as I do J     

Breakthrough #2 – Listening to ME

My second breakthrough at Level I (Listening to Me) is still unfolding which is part of the delay in sharing it with you.  Each day I’m learning more as I am actively listen to myself.  Who knew there was so much chatter going on upstairs in my little brain?!?!

I never knew how good it would feel to slow down and listen.  Who knew how much power I possess?  My 2 cents lecture…If you don’t listen, how will you ever know what’s going on within.  How will you ever know to trust intuition?  Intuition is about listening.  Listening is about slowing down, observing and not reacting.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve slowed down tremendously as I’ve taken the time to listen within.  At first, I felt guilty.  Here I am running a business and slacking off.  Well, not really but it feels like it given the pace I was moving at prior to my trip to Mexico.  Since starting my business over a year ago, I’ve just been charging forward.  I did a good job at first listening to my gut and following my passion by leaving corporate America to teach yoga full-time.   abellaYOGA has blossomed thanks to the hard work I initially put in but I’ve also carried with me many self-imposed demands that really weren’t necessary.

As I have thought more what it means to really LISTEN to ME, I’ve radically slowed down.  I’m still teaching 12 plus classes a week but I’ve definitely backed off on the administrative, marketing, etc. and expansion plans for my business.  I’m reassessing and more importantly, listening to my answers to the question “what’s really important?” 

Slowing down has enabled me to shift energy from lofty, unnecessary goals to my students.  They’re the reason I’m teaching yoga J  And, helping people live healthier and happier lives is what makes me happy.  It’s why I started teaching.  The best part of the listening process is I’ve noticed a difference in my teaching.  I’m starting to see an energy shift in my classes.  My students are having their own breakthroughs.  In fact, just this morning my student Lynne did her first Urdhva Dhanurasana (wheel) on her own.  It was inspiring as a teacher to witness the breakthrough.

This is the beginning of Breakthrough #2.  I’m looking forward to learning more about myself as I continue to listen within.  Note:  If this Breakthrough post doesn’t make sense to you, please read the last few postings. 

Excuses for NOT Listening

Okay, without naming names, I was on the phone yesterday with one of my biggest fans.  She had just read my previous post on “listening”.  She said it was an interesting post.  Then she continued to say she’s not always interested in what someone is saying so her brain goes elsewhere in the conversation.  She also said she is usually multi-thinking during conversations with others (i.e. thinking about her “to do” list, what she’ll say when this person stops talking, etc.).

This conversation with my reader is a great illustration of someone who really could benefit from learning how to be present, to be in the moment and listen.  Drop the excuses.  Conversations require a speaker and a listener.  If you’re not in one of those roles then where are you when that conversation is taking place?  Are things just passing you by?

Listening is goes two ways.  Give respect and get respect.  If you’re not interested in the topic, listen anyway.  You might actually learn something you didn’t know.  You might actually surprise yourself and find the conversation appealing once you give it a chance.  Or better yet, you might actually just show someone that you care about them through the simple act of listening (whether you’re interested in the topic at hand or not).

Let’s flip this around.  Is everything that comes out of your mouth interesting?  I’m sorry to tell you but probably not.  Do you get upset when people don’t listen to your story?  Lead the way.  If you start to listen, maybe others will start to listen.  Listen and you’ll be heard.

One final thought…how to handle people that have told you something more than 2 or 3 times already?  Maybe they know you’re a bad listener so they’ve developed an unconscious habit of repeating themselves to you.  Break this cycle and show them that your listening (read previous posting for how to actively listen).  Or maybe you were truly listening the first time they told you something.  If that’s the case, instead of tuning them out as they reiterate themselves, simply reply “oh yes, I remember you told me that already (or however you want to politely phrase it)”.  Honesty can do wonders.  It can even help to get others to start to pay attention to what they’re saying.  Eventually, they’ll get it.  Eventually, you’ll get it.

To my biggest fan, please do not take offense.  I love you!

Breakthrough #1 – Listening

Before going to Mexcio, I thought I was a good listener.  I always looked at people when they spoke.  I didn’t interrupt them (most of the time).  These are signs I’m listening, right?

Little did I know, I haven’t been “actively” listening most of my life.  This is my first breakthrough…I am now actively listening to others. 

It’s amazing how much opens up when I REALLY listen.  Listening means I am fully engaged in the person who is speaking.  It means I’m not thinking about what I’m going to say next (how often do you do that?).  It means not wondering off in my head, i.e. checking out mentally.  This was a huge realization for me as I’ve spent my life “checking out”.  It’s a lot easier to check out especially if it’s a topic I don’t think I’m interested in.

Listening means keeping my eyes focused on the person in front of me.  Eyes are a powerful part of active listening.  Active listening means energetically dedicating attention (through open ears and eyes) and silence to the person who is speaking.

Sounds easy, doesn’t it?  Try it.  It’s a lot harder than you think.  And it’s something I admit I haven’t done in a long, long time (if ever).  I’m finding as I truly start to listen, I’m learning things I didn’t know about in this world.  I’m learning things about myself.  I’m learning things about others.  And my heart is opening up as I’m starting to connect with others on a deeper level.

Listening is truly amazing once you commit to it.  God gave us eyes and ears for a reason so why not use them to their fullest.